6 + 24 = 32 June 24, 2008

Bdaycupcake1Ah, Birthday Week. It’s here. Ever since I was little, I have truly enjoyed my birthday. Except for a couple mental days around my 30th, which I completely deny but my friends all confirm…birthdays have never been about getting old. They’ve been about just simply making it through another year happy and healthy.

This year, the birthday festivities got off to a rocky start. Quite frankly, I don’t know why. I’ve felt…off. People are being really demanding of me emotionally – and seemingly unnecessarily. Things with my dad’s health are stressing me out (even though I’m not letting on that it’s bugging me that much). My initial plan for my fabulous birthday dinner went down the can in a big way. Suddenly, my birthday was feeling a bit like an anvil hanging around my neck.

I spent a quiet weekend keeping to myself and having TamiTime(tm). Still, I couldn’t shake it. Resorting to what usually makes me feel better, I went for a long walk. My route, which is what I run every day, has lots of hills and dips and turns. In the early evening, the breeze was blowing…the leaves were rustling a little bit. The soundtrack to everything swirling around in my head. Sorting through all of the things that had been bugging me for days.

As I came up over the top of this hill,  I was knocked back a few steps by a familiar smell I had smelled a million times on my run: magnolias. My mom loved magnolias – almost as much as stargazer lilies. All of the memories of my birthdays with my mom came rushing at me. We always used to have an adventure on my birthday…and of course, it had to do with food. The year we laughed over the white bean soup with truffle oil at Brasserie Le Coze (rip) after "accidentally" spending too much on new underwear. One year, we went to Bacchanalia for crab fritters and chocolate cake at lunch…and then went back that night for our reservations with my dad. We never told anyone – until now.   

On the eve of my second birthday-without-my-mom-oh-goodness-how-do-get-older-without-your-help, I sat down on the steps in front of the local school and cried and cried. Thank goodness for summer break.

In her way, as she always does, my mom was the thing that kept me grounded. Focused on what was important. I should have known that she’d be there for my birthday…and she’d be the one that helped me get my head out of my ass on this special day.

I’m looking at life today with a different set of eyes than the ones that have been staring glumly around her the past several days. What’s to be all down about? I’ve made it another year, right? I’m 32…and my boobs and butt stick out more than my stomach. Woo! I have a steady and decidedly unglamorous yet wildly fulfilling career as a food stylist. I eat well. I drink good wine. I laugh a lot. I have amazing people in my life that have been around for years and years and years – even though we don’t talk as much as we should, I know they’re there. This past year in particular, I’ve been so fortunate to meet a host of new friends. Although whatshisface gave me a little drama this year, I’m spending time with someone who puts a little twinkle in my eye again.

As always, I have a host of Birthday Week festivities planned for the next couple days. So, while *I* won’t be short on food and good stories, this blog will. I’ll be back soon enough trying to be healthy and repent for my birthday week sins. Thank you to everyone out there who has sent me such nice birthday wishes and – on the other 364 days of the year – supported me and this blog and gone through the journey with me. Here’s to another year, whatever it brings.

image found on google.com

Comments

jenny Jun 24, 2008 08:06 am

Happy birthday. Glad you’re in a better frame of mind. Birthdays always seem to bring out so many emotions in people.

Food Rockz Man Jun 24, 2008 08:06 am

Cheers to you and to another year. You rockz!

Sarah Jun 24, 2008 08:06 am

Happy Birthday! I laughed when you talked about your 30th birthday…I feel the same way about birthdays, but am dreading my 30th this year for some reason. Enjoy your birthday week!

tami Jun 24, 2008 12:06 pm

jenny-
thanks for stopping by and for the birthday wishes :)
– t*

tami Jun 24, 2008 12:06 pm

hay foodrockz…
so you do :)
– t*

tami Jun 24, 2008 12:06 pm

Sarah-
I was mental about it and didn’t even know! Trust me…the 30’s are so much better than the 20’s. Just stay zen about the number ending in 0 and enjoy yourself :)
– t*

christagirl Jun 24, 2008 02:06 pm

Happy B-day! Today is my birthday also! It is a great day! Only, for me, 6 + 24 = 43 this year!! Yikes. Still in denial about being in my 40’s. It’s just weird. Sigh. But….with age comes wisdom and part of that wisdom is to let go of regrets.
Many Blessings…Enjoy!

courtney Jun 24, 2008 07:06 pm

All the best. Happy Birthday!

Brilynn Jun 25, 2008 08:06 am

Happy Birthday Tami, I hope this year brings you many good things!

Streetstupid (Shannon) Jun 25, 2008 10:06 am

Happy Birthday! Still lurking, still reading, and still enjoying. All the best for your new year! :)

Kitt Jun 25, 2008 11:06 am

Happy birthday! Here’s to a fabulous year ahead.

Hillary Jun 25, 2008 12:06 pm

Happy birthday! My birthday is this week too (Sunday) and I’m deciding what cake to bake. I always stress out about my birthday too much…what to invite my friends to, etc. If the people around me aren’t having fun, than I am not having fun!

Chris Jun 25, 2008 12:06 pm

Happy (belated) birthday!!!!! Sorry I didn’t get to you yesterday! I will make it up – treat you to a dinner…your choice. :)

Leslie Jun 25, 2008 07:06 pm

Even though your mom is not with you in body..obviously she is with you in spirit, as she lifted you out of your darkness, only like a mother can!

Broderick Jun 25, 2008 08:06 pm

It was great meeting you, I hope you’re having a great birthday week!! :):)

Rowdy Jun 26, 2008 09:06 am

I thought that was a Tami pic amongst Broderick’s amazing photos.
Happy Birthday to Atlanta’s Food Goddess.
Cheers

Roxana Jun 26, 2008 04:06 pm

Happy Birthday, Tami, and I won’t say belated, because if you want to push it later, here it is, think today you are just turning 32. This comment is going to be loooong – I felt like a 30+ since I was 18, so now that I am 31, I finally feel right (not too happy though).
I wish you happiness and joy, and for that twinkle you are talking about to grow stronger each day.
I wrote you an e-mail about 10 days ago, I am not sure if it reached you, so here it goes again:
>>Hi, Tami, just wanted to say that I have just discovered your blog and I am reading and reading for two good hours now, angry that I am at work and really shouldn’t do this, plus that I am falling behind my workload, but what the heck….I love your witty and open writing, your beautiful photos and the warmth that transpires all over, I am so happy I stumbled upon it. I am like a kid in a toy store, don’t know what else to read first and wanting not to miss anything. Thank you for your blog, I have already some favorite tabs, and, although it is almost two years since your post, I am sorry for the loss of your mother, and wanted to tell you how truly beautiful your lines about her are, even now, even to a complete stranger. You are forever blessed to have such a mother and your love and wonderful memories are the perfect testimony of that.Please keep posting, I promise I’ll keep reading.Thank you, Roxana. P.S. you are definitely much more than a Carrie Bradshaw, but now she seems so unilateral vs. you, so the combo w Nigella sounds just right”>>

Maana Jun 26, 2008 08:06 pm

Happy Birthday and thanks for your blog! I love reading it and look forward to another 364 of it!

barbara Jun 27, 2008 03:06 am

Have a great birthday week Tami.

Kalyn Jun 27, 2008 09:06 am

Birthdays really do bring up all kinds of feelings, but I hope you can just enjoy the celebrating!

Hope Mirlis Jun 28, 2008 11:06 pm

Happy Birthday Week, Tami. And thanks for sharing details of the journey.

Y Jul 3, 2008 04:07 am

Happy Belated Birthday Tami!

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have a wonderful new year!..your birthday is alredy in the past when I’m writing this…
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